Friday, February 28, 2014

Si Gadis KFC

"Snack plate satu dengan cheesy wedges, upsize yang large. Air coke jek ea." dia memesan menu kesukaannya di kaunter KFC dengan sekali nafas. Maklumlah dia sudah lama mengidam untuk makan di situ. Baru hari ini hajatnya kesampaian. Di dalam mindanya sudah terbayang betapa sedapnya makanannya yang bakal masuk ke mulutnya nanti. Hanya memikirkannya sahaja sudah membuatkan mulutnya terliur.

Dia memerhati orang sekeliling. Penuh dengan gelagat dan karenah masing-masing. Yang menarik perhatiannya adalah seorang kanak-kanak perempuan yang berumur sekitar 4 tahun berlari-lari di sekitarnya. Tiba-tiba budak itu berhenti di sebelahnya dan memerhatikan dia dengan penuh minat. Matanya yang besar dan bulat berwarna hitam membuatkan dia terpesona dengan kecomelannya. 

"Alangkah baiknya jikalau aku sudah mempunyai anak." bisik hatinya. Fikirannya terganggu seketika memikirkan sahabat-sahabatnya ramai yang sudah berumahtangga. Dia berasa cemburu dengan mereka. Walaupun dia mempunyai wajah yang agak cantik berbanding sahabatnya yang lain, di dalam hatinya tertanya-tanya kenapa bukan dia yang berkahwin dahulu. 

"Cik, ini pesanannya. Terima kasih. Sila datang kembali." Dia dikejutkan oleh petugas kaunter. Semua pesanannya sudah lengkap. Dia tersenyum sambil membawa makanannya pergi.

"Ah,sudahlah. Jodoh di tangan tuhan. Tak kan kemana-mana jodoh aku itu." Dia menyedapkan hati sendiri. Lagipun umurnya yang masih muda membuatkan dia tidak begitu memikirkan soal jodoh. Yang penting sekarang ialah menumpukan perhatian sepenuhnya untuk menghabiskan pengajian dan mendapatkan pekerjaan untuk membantu keluarganya.

"Alamak, terlupa nak tempah tempat duduk!" Dia melihat sekeliling namun tiada tempat duduk yang kosong. Dia menjadi resah dan gelisah. KFC yang dia pergi bukannya kecil namun begitu dia terlupa mengambil kira bahawa hari ini hari cuti umum. Tempat itu dipenuhi orang.

Sedang dia sibuk mencari tempat duduk, tiba-tiba dia terlanggar seseorang. Habis tumpah semua makanannya di lantai dan dia terjatuh. "Kenapa lah malang sangat nasib aku hari ini." jerit hati kecilnya. Dia melihat sahaja makannya yang sudah mencecah lantai. Perasaan malu juga semakin menebal di hatinya.

"Awak tak apa-apa?" Tiba-tiba dia dikejutkan dengan sebuah suara. Rupa-rupanya orang yang dilanggarnya adalah seorang lelaki. Dari paras rupanya, lelaki itu tidaklah sekacak mana. Berbadan sederhana dan tinggi juga sederhana, dia berfikir kenapalah dia berlanggar dengan lelaki itu. 

Lelaki itu menarik aku bangun dengan menyentuh lengan bajuku. "Awak seorang sahaja?" Kalau seorang, awak duduklah dulu di tempat duduk saya dahulu. Nanti saya ganti makanan awak," pelawa lelaki itu.

"Ah, tak kan ada buruknya menerima tawaran itu. Lagipun tak kan nak beli lagi kot KFC. Malu la." dia berbisik di dalam hatinya. Perutnya berbunyi tanda menyetujui tindakannya. 

"Snack plate dengan cheesy wedges, air coke, saiz besar tau!" Dia mengulang pesanan lamanya. Dia sendiri berasa pelik bagaimana dia seolah-olah tebal muka untuk menerima pelawaannya.

"Ah, bukan selalu kena belanja KFC camni." Fikirnya untuk menyedapkan hati.

Dia segera ke tempat duduk yang ditunjuk lelaki itu sebentar tadi. Ternyata lelaki itu datang seorang diri. Mejanya terletak sebuah beg galas berwarna hitam. Dia duduk di tempat yang bertentangan dengan kaunter itu. Sambil menunggu, dia memerhati lelaki itu. "Hmm, rupa, 6/10. Gentleman, 8/10. Yang lain tak tahu lagi. Not bad la. "  

Dia masih berstatus single. Di dalam hatinya, masih sukar untuknya menerima seorang lelaki. Pelbagai pengalaman lalu yang menimpanya membuatkan dia menutup hatinya untuk kehadiran seorang lelaki. Namun begitu, dia sedar dia tidak boleh terus hidup dalam keadaan begitu. Mungkin suatu hari dia akan berjumpa seorang lelaki yang baik dan boleh mengubati luka di hatinya. Dalam tidak sedar dia mengelamun jauh sehingga tidak perasan bahawa lelaki itu sudah kembali bersama dengan pesanannya.

"Maaf pasal tadi. Saya tak sedar awak lalu." Dia meminta maaf kepada lelaki itu. Dia sedar bahawa itu semua salahnya kerana tidak menumpukan ke arah dia berjalan.  

"Oh, takde papelah. Awak pun tak ada pape kan? So everything is fine. Makanlah." Lelaki itu mempelawanya makan. "By the way, nama saya Izwan." Lelaki itu memperkenalkan diri sambil tersenyum. 

"Saya Nurul. Awak pun makanlah sekali. Seganlah kalau saya makan seorang." 

Siapa sangka sebuah pertemuan kecil sebegitu telah mengubah hidupnya. Lelaki itu telah membuatkan hidupnya bahagia dan membuatkannya berasa istimewa sepanjang masa. Dia juga tidak menyangka masih ada lelaki seperti itu yang tinggal pada zaman sekarang. 

"JANTAN TAK GUNA!" Dia masih ingat ayat yang keluar dari mulutnya sewaktu mengakhiri hubungan terakhirnya. Namun segalanya berubah. Masa mengubah segala-galanya.

Dia kini telah dikurniakan seorang anak perempuan yang comel. Hidupnya juga serba mencukupi walaupun tidak begitu mewah. Dia bersyukur atas segala-galanya. 

"Family bucket satu, air coca-cola 3, cheesy wedges 2." Dia memesan makanan di kaunter. Sambil itu dia melihat ke arah anak dan suaminya yang berada di meja tidak jauh darinya. Setiap ulang tahun perkahwinannya dia akan ke KFC bersama-sama suami dan anaknya. Dia berasa bangga KFC merupakan makanan kesukaannya. Dia berasa bangga digelar si gadis KFC.

P/S: Cerita ini hanyalah sebuah rekaan semata-mata. Tiada kena-mengena dengan yang masih hidup ataupun yang telah meninggal dunia. Jikalau merasa kandungan cerita ini mengandungi isu sensitif dan offensive, sila lah berhubung dengan penulis :). Terima kasih kerana telah membaca!



Friday, January 24, 2014

Leave without a word.

“I need to chill. Why he messaged me? No, the more important question is why now?” I whispered to myself.
It had been five years since the last time I contacted him. I remembered the last time I sent an email to him, confessing my feeling to him. But I never got the reply. I wondered if the email ever gotten to him. It doesn’t matter anymore. Now is the chance to get a closure for my five years of misery.

My heart beat so fast that I felt like it is going to blow. I don’t know where to start. The thought of him getting furious on my question is really scared me. But I don’t want to live with the regret of not knowing the answer, the truth why was he ignoring and avoiding me and left me five years ago?

Calmly, I pressed the keyboard and started to type the question I want to ask him for so long.

“Why now u messaged me? Why u wouldn’t reply my messages, my calls, my emails, even my pm I left for u in fb, frenster, and everything five years ago? Am I doing something wrong? Or am I not good enough for you? Why would you dump me?” I wrote the message in anger and sad and curious. It is a mixed feeling. Now I’m waiting for his reply.

I remember him as a nice guy who always cheering me up when I was sad, cracking joke and make me laugh and accompany me when I was lonely. He is a guy who always cares for me, always be there for me, and loves me for who I am, or at least that what I thought. His sudden leave without any word really struck me right into my heart. I couldn’t wake up the other day without thinking about him, his smile, his laugh and the way he make me special, it is a feeling only I know, and now he is gone just like that.

It is true that I had a boyfriend even before I know him. I met him in a college just for a while when he was transferred to another college for scholarship offer. Somehow, I felt like I want to know him better and the urge is getting bigger and bigger every day. But before I have enough courage to talk to him, he already moved out. Later, I got an offer to pursuit my study in medicine. It is my dream since I were little that I become a doctor, a good one who will discover a new cure for cancer and making major breakthrough in health field. So I took the offer and left the college.

Before leaving, I managed to get his number from his friend. To be honest, I don’t know if he will ever reply to my message, since I am anonymous to him and he never talked to me before, not even once. Oh, and he also in the same class with me in that college. One night, I was so lonely. My boyfriend never replied my message so I felt like nothing wrong to contact him. At least I try. So I send a normal message like a stranger would write to other stranger.

Suddenly my phone rang. It was his message. He replied! My heart was screaming in joy. And his message showed that he is interested in me. The messaging streak continues for about until six month. We chat almost every day, exchanging our news, telling stories, sharing secrets but never our feelings. Slowly but surely, I fall for him. But I was still able to control my feeling and not showing any hint to him, be it in my messages or when I met him. Yeah, we were going out from time to time. Whenever I am with him, I felt secured and safe, and free to be whoever I want. I can be myself, and he still can accept me for who I am. That will only makes my feeling toward him stronger to the point that I forgot I already have someone. But with him, I never felt this way. I felt guilty, yet I felt no regret for what I have done.

Suddenly, everything was falling apart. It started with his question regarding my status. Frankly, I don’t want to tell him the truth because I am afraid of losing him. Would he accept me when he knows that I have a boyfriend? I restrained myself from answering that question but he insisted to know the truth. 

At last, the inevitable happened. He started to give me a cold shoulder and rarely replied to my messages. Ultimately, he stopped contacting me at once so I tried to call him but to no avail. I even tried to contact him via social media but it was not working either. Every day I waited for him to contact me back, telling me that everything is all right between us, but it is useless and I started to feel crazy whenever I’m thinking about him.

So I decided to write an email to him, personally confessing my feeling toward him, and how he made me feel, and apologize for whatever wrongdoings I have done to him. I even tell him that I love him more that I love my boyfriend; in fact, I love him more than anything in this world. And this is my last letter to him and I gave everything I felt for him in that letter, even a scar that I knew would never heal from that feeling.

Now, I can only wait. A day passes, then a month, then a year gone without any news from him. No word, phone call, no mail, and no message. I felt heartbroken. Feeling hopeless, so I moved on. Now I finally found someone decent enough, or maybe better than him, who treat me well, accept me for whoever i am and make me feel special, the way he use to made me feel before! At least he can help to mend my broken heart and forgetting him, even though that is the hardest thing to do. After five years, I managed to move on and nothing felt like changing, surely not the way I expected to be. That is when I received his message via facebook messaging. And my old scar reopens back. And it bleeds. More than it should be, in fact, to the point where I turn to shock.

Dear Liza, the fact that you kept a secret that you were having a boyfriend is really hit me hard. It came to my sense that if you would do that to someone else, why wouldn’t you do the same thing with me. So I decided to leave you, so that I would not fall hard when you are choosing him than me, and when you are leaving me. I would not allow myself to be in such risk as I know the consequences will be dire. It took me at least half a year to move on from the last break-up, and when I know I will be disappointed again if I were to go with our relationship, I don’t know if I wanted to involve myself in love ever again. My feeling back then was true, and I sincerely loved you with all my heart, but that is the past now. I moved on, and I met someone, and it is not working again, and I had to break-up again. But I realize it is all part of life. I learnt a lot from our relationship, and it helped me to be a better person as I am right now. Never once I forget about you and our memories together, but I realize it is just memories, and it will stay that way forever. So I beg you to do the same, to move on and carry on with your own life. I know you have a boyfriend that love you more than I do so cherish him, and love him with all your heart. Let bygone be bygone. Appreciate what you have right now, or you will regret when you lose it later. I am answering your entire question so that you have a better closure and that we will able to be a friend like we should be. Remember, we can never be like we used to be and never will be. Now I can only pray for your happiness and may your current relationship will be everlasting.
                                                                                                                      Sincerely,
                                                                                                                        James.”

I read the message a few times. I don’t know what to feel anymore. I want to cry but my tears won’t drop. But I feel relief. My heart is peaceful. Now I am with someone who I love dearly.But deep inside, i know a piece of my heart will forever be yours and it will never change.

P/S: This story is a fruit from a creative mind, not more than a fiction and it is not based on any event. If reader feel like related to any of the content or regard it as offensive, please contact the writer for further action. Otherwise, feel free to enjoy it :)